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An intimate reflection from my personal journal

I’m late with the May anchoring and I was late in April. One of my goals this year was/is to have all the forecast notes done in advance. The cards were picked back in like October and I wanted to work smarter not harder when it comes to juggling all the deadlines in my life since I’m currently a student in multiple courses. This morning I made myself pause and recenter. I actually hadn’t written a real entry in my journal in about two weeks.

I’ve been back from Antigua for two weeks now — typing that makes me feel better because it felt like much longer — and while I know I need to recalibrate in many ways I still found myself feeling somewhat overwhelmed. I came back with plans to rest then introduce my Aunt to my altar as an ancestor. Last weekend my family adopted a kitten and boy is he busy! I forgot I was still in a rest period and I’ve been super conscious of all the things I’ve planned to do. I jumped back into my birthwork preparation things. I started stressing about not feeling ready to complete and post the May anchoring. I haven’t really been doing my morning anchoring sessions. It’s wild because I felt so centered and grounded n and by my experience in Antigua. There was a squirrel stuck in my house and it panick crawled alllll over where we have the altar set up and it just felt like damn, how am I going to reset this space properly now. This morning I woke up early and made myself check in with my ancestral court through my journal. By the end of the entry and definitely by the time I left the house I felt so much clearer, so much better. I’m going to share the correspondence here because I think it’s an important example of being vulnerable with your ancestors. Especially if like me, you have a hard time asking your court for things. My altar and ancestors see the most communication from me when all feels good and aligned. I may talk to them when I’m down and fuzzy but i dont usually ask them for things. It’s something I’m working on in my path to embodied faith.

Esteemed Council of Ancestors and Guides,

It’s been a little while. I feel like I’m struggling to catch myself, to truly reacclimate past Antigua. I’ve tried to take it easy and have a gentle and intentional return. Have I not rested well enough? I feel far away from you, from who I know myself to be. I want to hold you close again. I want to feel held closely again. The distance has felt so abrupt. I know a shift took place in Antigua and it’s time to make adjustments but I feel lost and it has been such a long time since I’ve felt that way. What I feel, what I am right now is disoriented. I had so many plans for the altar upon my return but now we have a kitty baby and those plans are no longer safe. I seek and invite in clarity of sight, of knowing, of direction. I invite and call in discernment anchored by the wisdom of our years and experience. I need my confidence to once again match my ability, my competence. Please help me shed the urge to be hasty through this transition. Grant and support me with the fortitude to take one divinely guided step at a time.

Help me remember that all things flow, that all things work together for my good, that when I surrender to spirit and trust faithfully in my genuine connectivity all things move as universally intended.

Help me to remember the relevant tools and assisstance already at my disposal. I know Sopia and my Ori have set me up with everything I need in every momengt.

Order my steps forward so that I never confuse the blissful truth of autonomy with the illusion of control.

Feel and receive the enduring love and respect I have for you, Esteemed Council, even as my altar work is in flux. I have neither abandoned nore forsaken you. I hold you in my heart. I walk with you everyday. You are imprinted on my very essence. I honor and adore you. I am eternally grateful for your existence. You are mine as much as I am yours. In your midst is my very favorite place to belong.

Thank you for helping me shift my perspective and experience reality more intimately, always. *HERE IS WHERE I BEGAN TO NOTICE AN ENERGETIC SHIFT IN AND AROUND ME*

Like now, I’ve felt like I’ve been struggling to recalibrate, like I’ve been distracted.. but in the disruption of my previous flow, my family has been blessed with a new member, we’ve become closer. My next steps have been reorderd. My current steps have been affirmed. Things that have been YEARS in resolution have seen notable movement. Though slightly unfamiliar, there has indeed been flow.

Thank you for always hearing me out. Thank you for your clear communication. I invite you to communicate with me always in all ways.

Love eternally, your daughter Erica.

After this I took some deep breaths, lit my Halo candle from The Conjure to reset my space and jumped in the shower. I forget what i chanted to program the candle this lighting but I know I wanted to integrate the peace and assurance my communion through journaling session brought me. When I got out I layered myself with aloe vera gel, a mix of my oils, Burberry Blush perfume, my lotion, and more Burberry Blush perfume. These were the care instructions my Ancestors immediately responded with at the close of my letter.

The oils:

The VERY first Anointing Oil I created was the Archangel Jophiel: Divine Beauty, Wisdom, and Enlightenment Oil. Archangel Jophiel’s specialty is bringing out the core truth of things. On a personal level they remind us who we are in our divine essence. This oil was an integral part of me understanding my path and mission in this life. I used it almost exclusively for at least a year. Surprisingly, I cant remember the last time I used it. That went into the dropper bottle first

Next I added Archangel Uriel: Fire of God Anointing Oil. Archangel Uriel is directly connected to the energy of my life path number (11). Their specialty is maintaining and enforcing ecological balance. There is a time and place for everything aall things belong in their time and place. Archangel Uriel is a master of homeostasis. A dynamic and intentional balance andharmony. This oil, for me, is all about right relations (divine alignment).

I topped off the bottle with my very first Alignment Oil, Fortitude. Fortitude is the virtue that allows us to overcome fear and remain steady in our will in the face of obstacles, physical and spiritual.

I’ve used Fire of God recently but definitely not with any kind of consistency. These tools weren’t designed for spot treatment, thought they can serve that purposed, I intended them for enhancing spiritual maintenance and that is how they function best.

My Ancestors provided me with the exact support I asked for.

This scripture comes to mind: “ Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seelm and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh rceiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh shall be opened. ” - Matthew 7:7-8

If nothing else, I hope this inspires you reflect on whether you’ve put unintentional guards up or applied undue pressure upon yourself, your worship, and your intimate communion with your council. I pray this encourages you to revist your basics, your foundation. I hope you feel safe to and capable of recalibrating as often as necessary or desired.

I love you <3

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